[Spoilers!] I LOVE a good quote, and there are some truly great lines in this show. I’ve previously laid out my contenders. So here are my top 10 from Series 1 (courtesy of www.planetclaire.tv), with some commentary.
10. From Episode 7, “The Long Game” (Russell T. Davies):
The Doctor: Rose is asking the right sort of questions: Why is it so hot?
Cathica: One minute you’re worried about the Empire and the next minute it’s the central heating.
The Doctor: Oh, never underestimate plumbing. Plumbing’s very important.
Perhaps the most universally true statement. Anyone who’s been without it knows, plumbing’s very important. It’s short, to the point and quotable.
9. From Episode 12, “Bad Wolf” (Russell T. Davies):
Lackey: If you’re not holding us hostage then open the door and let us out. The staff are terrified!
The Doctor: That’s the same staff who execute hundreds of contestants every day.
Lackey: That’s not our fault. We’re just doing our jobs.
The Doctor: And with that sentence you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now back off!
A critique of the “Nazi Prison Guard” defense. Especially in this day and age, criticizing people in power who don’t themselves question the nature of their job is particularly important. This quote is flat-out useful in our current situation.
8. From Episode 11, “Boom Town” (Russell T. Davies):
Margaret: I spared her life.
The Doctor: You let one of them go but that’s nothing new. Every now and then a little victim’s spared because she smiled, ’cause he’s got freckles. ‘Cause they begged. And that’s how you live with yourself. That’s how you slaughter millions. Because once in awhile—on a whim, if the wind’s in the right direction—you happen to be kind.
Margaret: Only a killer would know that. Is that right? From what I’ve seen, your funny little happy go lucky little life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on because you dare not look back. Playing with so many peoples lives, you might as well be a god. And you’re right, Doctor. You’re absolutely right. Sometimes you let one go. Let me go.
I like it when the Doctor gets called out, and Doctor #9 is DARK, so he needs it. Plus, the insight into people who regularly do bad things rings true. Russell T. Davies has some good lines.
7. From Episode 2, “The End of the World” (Russell T. Davies):
The Doctor: You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying. Like you’re going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take the time to imagine the impossible. That maybe you survive. This is the year 5.5 slash Apple slash 26. Five billion years in your future. And this is the day— hold on. This is the day the sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world.
I like it when Russell T. Davies waxes expansive about the hopes and dreams of the human race. It’s everybody’s not-so-secret fear: Success. “But what if it works beyond your wildest dreams?” Terrifying.
6. From Episode 8, “Father’s Day” (Paul Cornell):
The Doctor to Baby Rose: Now Rose, you’re not going to bring about the end of the world. Are you?
Awww! Who’s the cute widdle world-ender? You are! It’s just so… IDK. Is it dramatic irony when you tell a young incarnation of somebody not to do something their older, time-traveling self has already done? It’s the opposite of prophetic.
5. From Episode 1, “Rose” (Russell T. Davies):
The Doctor: What are you doing here?
Rose: I live here.
The Doctor: Well what’d you do that for?
Rose: Because I do. I’m only home because someone blew up my job.
The Doctor: Must have got the wrong signal. You’re not plastic are you? [knocks on her forehead]. Nope, bone in.
Rose and the Doctor have a number of great exchanges, and this is one of the first. Absurd questions, defensive answers, and unexpected parallels. I just love the line, “Nope, bone in.” Classic.
4. From Episode 2, “The End of the World” (Russell T. Davies):
Rose: Alright. As my mate Shareen says, “Don’t argue with the designated driver.” [Pulling out her cell]. Can’t exactly call for a taxi.
There’s no signal. We’re out of range. Just a bit.
The Doctor: Tell you what, with a little bit of jiggery-pokery—
Rose: Is that a technical term, “jiggery-pokery”?
The Doctor: Yeah. I came first in jiggery-pokery. What about you?
Rose: No. I failed hullabaloo.
The better of the two Doctor/Rose exchanges on this list. Again, odd parallels, digs on language choice, quick comebacks. I don’t use the terms “jiggery-pokery” or “hullabaloo” enough. Awesome.
3. From Episode 3, “The Unquiet Dead” (Mark Gatiss):
The Doctor: You’re a genius!
Coachman: You want me to get rid of him, sir?
Dickens: Ah, no. I think he can stay.
The Doctor: Honestly, Charles—can I call you Charles?—I’m such a big fan.
Dickens: What? A big what?
The Doctor: Fan. Number one fan, that’s me.
Dickens: How exactly are you a fan? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?
The Doctor: No, it means “fanatic”, “devoted to”. Mind you, I’ve gotta say, that American bit in Martin Chuzzlewit, what’s that about? Was that just padding or what? I mean it’s rubbish, that bit.
Dickens: I thought you said you were my fan.
The Doctor: Oh well, if you can’t take criticism.
So much in here. Instant familiarity with an idol gives celebrities the creeps. Then there’s anachronistic idioms, and deep literature critiques (Who’s read Martin Chuzzlewit?!?). [Side note: perhaps if your English teacher is a “Dickens-ophile,” don’t get me started on eighth grade Honors English and Steinbeck. Blech!] And creative types know that even their biggest fans are going to have a few critiques–everyone’s a critic.
2. From Episode 7, “The Long Game” (Russell T. Davies):
The Editor: Create a climate of fear and it’s easy to keep the borders closed. It’s just a matter of emphasis. The right word in the right broadcast repeated often enough can destabilize an economy, invent an enemy, change a vote.
Rose: So all the people on Earth are like, slaves.
The Editor: Well, now. There’s an interesting point. Is a slave a slave if he doesn’t know he’s enslaved?
The Doctor: Yes.
The Editor: Oh. I was hoping for a philosophical debate. Is that all I’m going to get? “Yes.”?
The Doctor: Yes.
The Editor: You’re no fun.
The Doctor: Let me out of these manacles. You’ll find out how much fun I am.
First off, it’s an exchange with Simon Pegg, so that’s great. It’s also a good critique on why we have to watch the media and how easily They can drum up fear to drive public policy. Not that I’m opposed to the mainstream media–but I am opposed to overly partisan news sources–there’s one in particular that ends in an X…. But the one that starts with an H rubs me wrong too. This exchange also has got a bit of philosophy, followed by a veiled threat–that’s layered.
1. From Episode 13,”The Parting of the Ways” (Russell T. Davies):
The Dalek Emperor: Do not interrupt! Do not interrupt!
The Doctor: I think you’re forgetting something. I’m the Doctor and if there’s one thing I can do it’s talk. I’ve got five billion languages and you haven’t got one way of stopping me. So if anybody’s gonna shut up, it’s you!
The Doctor flexing is always great, and this one is near and dear to me, as communication and argument is kind of my thing.
So those are my top 10. I KNOW, RIGHT?!? Other critics put the last line uttered by Christopher Eccleston in the top 10 all-time best Doctor quotes, and it didn’t even make my list. Shocking.
In truth, it is a great line, but I think it only really has its power in milleu. With the possible exception of my vote for #5, the rest of these could be said by someone else and still have some resonance. I threw out all the quotes that were just too easy. And ultimately, my favorite exchange was the one between the Doctor and Captain Jack from Episode 10, “The Doctor Dances” (written by Steven Moffat), but I had to disqualify it, as the payoff took four exchanges stretched over the episode. Finally, Russell T. Davies wrote eight of the thirteen episodes, so I guess he was destined to dominate this list.
Did I miss your favorite? Comment and I’ll respond.
